That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
