I need help removing her.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
