She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
