Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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