Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

Fav 13 924 2602
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(256): View more from Alabama

every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now

Fav 21 1109 2871
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(609): View more from New Jersey

walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.

Fav 11 3921 830
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(816): View more from Missouri

She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

Fav 19 2188 5871
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(819): View more from Quebec

I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.

Fav 4 1470 2561
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

Fav 3 1471 1135
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.

Fav 2 1197 748
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.

Fav 3 24 71
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(516): View more from New York

Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet

Fav 0 22 53
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