he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
