this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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