I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
