you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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