I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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