im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
