so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
