Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
