Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
