Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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