I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
