Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
