I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize