If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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