you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We need to rekindle our bromance
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
