I think I won the penis lottery.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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