I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
