Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
