the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
