I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize