i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
