hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
