I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
