It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
