Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
