he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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