I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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