you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
