Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
one might say we're banned from that church
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
