i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
