used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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