i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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