Dude my mom stole all your condoms
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
