Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
