If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
