i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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