Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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