What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
