i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
