how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
