You're my little dorito
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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