ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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