new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
