R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
