I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
as a side note pls kill me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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