dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
