I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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