rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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