If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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