i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
