i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize