careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
