I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize