how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
