Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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