Whod you bang
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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