just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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