dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
